Fathers day

Its monday, its needle day and I have already tossed my breakfast so please forgive me if my sense of humour is a little out of whack.

I have had three baths in my soakie tub in the last 24 hours. It doesn't really help the nausea but it is relaxing so I can cope.

We went to Beths for fathers day dinner. She made her dad a turkey with all the fixings (his request). She is a fine cook, my daughter. Makes me proud. We cut out right after dinner. I can't do alot of people for very long. I did manage a chat with Hannah, my 6 year old granddaughter about who was cooler. Alvin or Theodore. Apparently Simon was not in the running. My children and grandchildren adore Andre. If there was nothing else right about our relationship (and there is lots) he is the best father I know. The kids know that their world will always be safe as long as Andre is in it. Must be a great feeling.

I don't speak much of my father. but I think of him around fathers day. He was a journalist, in the forties tradition of fedora's with a press sign on the hat. He would have loved computers. He was brilliant and charming and really funny. He had a way with the ladies. It was a power he used for evil not for good, and oh yes. He was an alcoholic. I really didn't know him well since, like most alcoholics he had two personalities. The sober man and the drunken one.

I like to think that the best of me came from him. And through this journey I have figured out that perhaps he suffered from depression as well. Only in his day you drowned it in booze.

Its moot now since he has been dead for almost ten years. Went back to Vancouver Island, like an old salmon to die. I wish I had known him better. I wish he had known me better. Iwish, I wish, I wish......

Anyway, happy fathers day Ted. I hope wherever you are that you are watching out for me. You might not have been much of a father, but you were a very cool dude.

Gotto go throw up again.

sending love into the universe
gayle