Well its Thursday and I heard today from Tobin. My test results are in. My viral load is not gone but it has gone down. She says thats amazing considering the stage of the disease I am at.
But it also means that I have to go to 48 weeks not 26 as I had hoped. My sister/friend Krista says she wasn't surprised, that I am a complete warrior and I wouldn't settle for a battle half won. That my spirit has to beat this thing into the ground. I will keep that in mind when I want to curl up in a ball and feel so sorry for myself that i just want to die. Except apparently there is a good chance that I am not going to die, so dying now would seem pretty pointless. Am I making any sense?
I need it to get warm and sunny but then so does everyone else. I am going to a summer solstice celebration on Saturday night. It is an Andean Circle celebration and I know the energy there will do much for my soul. I am going with Wanda who I haven't seen in awhile and she is also a light Warrior and a friend so I will sharpen my battle axe and go.
I have decided that when this is all over and I have emerged victorious I am going to get a tattoo to honour the victory. I think I will have it put on the inside of my wrist to remind me of what I am capable of.
Of what we all are capable of. God, I'm so deep and interesting!
flinging love into the universe
gayle
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