Dear Blog
I'm sharing my lunch with you. (Tomato soup and crackers) I especially like the crackers. So far I have eaten two sleeves of crackers since treatment began. Maybe thats how you are supposed to measure it. Not in days, or number of injections, but in sleeves of crackers.

My new tub is sitting in the living room. Andre stood it on end so I would have a bath right there. What a mean man he is. Scott and Lyn were over for dinner last night and I loved it. It was almost normal. I think that is important. Trying to do normal things as much as you can. Its good for your soul.

I tire so easily though. I am beginning to learn the rhythm of this. Get up around nine. Have breakfast and a whole handful of pills and then go back to bed for a couple of hours to sleep so I won't toss the pills.

Get up, have lunch do whatever for a couple more hours and then another nap. Supper and TV most of the evening. Evenings seem to be my best time. Last night I actually ate four bites of a really nice pork chop. That was all the protein I could handle. Seems to be Tobin's biggest concern that I'm not getting enough protein. Well the stomach wants what the stomach wants I always say.

Tonight I get my third injection. I can't say the time has flown by, but its not crawling either. I am sharing a dubious anniversary with you. It was 29 years ago today that I got hit by that stupid cow and ruptured my spleen and set all this in motion. 29 years since I laid in that ER cursing the fates because I wasn't going to be home in time for All creatures Great and Small. 29 years since I had my own personal life and death moment. Did I see the white light? Nope. Did I hover over my own body? Nope. Did I hear the voice of God........maybe. I think my reptilian brain (the one behind the frontal lobe) knew that I had to protect the tiny perfect life within me and that I was not going without a fight. In fact I was not going at all.

And so I am, all these years later fighting this same fight. And alot of it has to do with not wanting to leave those I love so dearly, so I guess its all sort of the same.

And so what have I learned so far? Well I always knew how to love. (I'm a Scorpio. We love and hate in big giant doese). But what I am learning after all these years is how to receive love. There is so much of it around me. I can just breathe it in. I wish I had known that before. It would have carried me through so many other crisis.

Gotta go. Lyn and I are going to Garry's Garden Centre to look at flowers. Now that will definitly be medicine for the soul

sending love
g